I just feel so down, i never had PPD with dj , but i feel so depressed. im trying everything i can to have this little girl in my arms and i keep failing. and with daves comment he made a few days ago, im feeling more depressed. i hate the fact that dave didnt pass his written for the chp. that was our new beginning, so we are back to square one: drowning in bills and barely being able to pay rent. im so glad i have my dad here to help or else we would be homeless. it all started with the car impound which made us late on that months rent and legal fees cause we were so late, and now the checks are a month behind and we are playing catch up, we should be happy and stress free about this baby comming but all we do is stress on bills, things for dj, and other necessities. I love my husband to death and wouldnt know what to do without him, but we need to find him a better paying job, cause $10 an hour is NOT cutting it. our bills are more than what he makes a month. and if i could i would work right now just so we have our heads above water, but i cant.
im sorry im rambling i just need to get this out..
im so self consious about my body, my appearance, everything.. and to be pregnant and weight 210lbs im just so disgusted with myself. i shouldnt be this big. my weight has a big toll on my depression. in high school i had the perfect body then when i got out of school and got a boyfriend who did drugs and talked down to me, everything spiraled down. after 3 years of heartache i left and moved into an apartment with my now ex best friend. and that is where i met dave. he made me feel special and treated me so well. My sister says that im very lucky to have such a perfect family. i dont feel i have a perfect family though. i try to be the best wife i can, i try and keep the house clean, do laundry, and all the others that intail but im just so worn out like.. "hey when do i get a break" KWIM But when it all comes down to it i really do have a good family, i have a loving husband and son that i wouldnt change for anything, support from my dad, sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends. so i do have a great support system, but why cant I see that? why do i feel as though everything is crashing down on me?
i think im going to talk to my dr when i see him and ask him what i should do/take.
3 comments:
You wanna know why?? Because you are a mom and the head of a soon to be family of four!! Plus, you are hormonal and emotional!! Mention it to your Dr. because even the happiest woman in the world can be depressed when gives birth!!
I will keep you and your family in my prayers!!
I know exactly how you feel dear. Esp with the whole money issue and everything. I was laid off 7 months preggo and then Brad hurt his shoulder shortly there after and couldnt work and he still isnt working and cant until sept. We just paid rent for June but to do it had to get into our retirement fund.
I'm here if you need to talk even though we don't know each other well. About anything. About how frustrated you are about that little girl still baking, anything.
Hey Breanna, this is all so very understandable. You are feeling disappointed now, so just give it time. Talk to your doctor if you think you need something to help. Don't worry about your body right now, but eat right and exercise--you've got that little baby girl to take care of in there! When you finally meet her, you can embark on your weight loss journey. I believe you are a great wife and Mommy, just hang in there. And I hope that Dave can find a job that pays better...there must be something out there for him. You and your family are in our prayers Bre! I can't wait to hear the news that Reagan is here. :) Take care!
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