Happy First Birthday, Allen James!

Allen James,

I have no words. It has taken me over a week to write this letter to you. I am completely blown away that you are already one. a whole three hundred and sixty five days old. You are not my helpless infant anymore, but my growing independent loving toddler.

Yesterday I soaked up every ounce of your last day as an eleven month old. I took pictures of you playing, eating and even while you were taking your nap on my chest. The newborn smells came back and the tears began to flow.

From the very beginning, I knew that you would change our family for the better. When I found out you were going to be DJ and Reagan's Little Brother, I instantly fell in love with you all over again. Every kick, punch and hiccup was treasured, for you were my last pregnancy. Allen, you are so loved. Not by just us, but by so many people around you. We have all watched you grow. Watching you accomplish all of your milestones. Watching your spunky personality explode.

Its hard to imagine how much this past year has changed. You are not that tiny newborn anymore, instead you laugh at us, talk to us, walk run from us and for the most part sleep through the night. You have learned Independence and like to test out your boundaries.. You blow kisses. You give hugs. I love your slobbery opened mouth kisses. You love to dance, especially with your brother and sister. You can hold your own with them too.

As I think about the future and what it holds. What will next year look like. What will five or ten years from now look like? All I know is that I want to be there for you every step of the way. Watching you grow. Watching you discover this big world. Watching you accomplish your dreams. You are my son. I am your mother. That will never change.

You currently weigh 24lbs and have spiked up to almost 3ft tall. You love to drink from a Sippy Cup. You have 3 favorite blankets you like to cycle through. You are a climber, we have to constantly keep an eye on you. You have separation anxiety with daddy, but it is getting better. You are definitely a mama's boy.

No matter what happens Allen. No matter where our lives take us. I pray that you never forget how much I love you. I pray that you never give up on your dreams. You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. I pray that you laugh a lot. Love a lot. I pray that you never have any regrets in life. I pray that you work hard and always live a fulfilled life. I pray for your future. Your health and happiness.

Finishing up this letter. I have a knot in my throat. Tear filled eyes. I love you, Allen James.

I love you, I love you, I love you...

Today starts a new journey in your life. You are now a one year old. You have a lifetime of first to accomplish. And I pray that I am right by your side. Not just to watch you. But to help guide you through if you ever feel discouraged, defeated or unsure.

Let me be the first to say... Happy First Birthday, Allen!

{time stamped 1:57.. the time of your birth. just 12hrs earlier}

I love you so much..
forever and ever..

Love,

Mommy