It has finally hit me. I started to notice the way I have been feeling about 3 days ago. Everything is making me cry and I feel like such a shitty mother because my older 2 are outta control right now. I know this is a big change for them and I know that it will pass, but I just can't get over that shitty feeling.
I have an appt with my Dr on the 31st to talk about my blood pressure & meds, post partum depression and my heart issues. I also need to get my referral to the cardiologist, they are such slackers. I think a lot of my depression has to do with the fact that I can't be with 3 kids at the same time. I try to give them each one on one time and do something with each of them, but its hard when Allen is screaming because he is hungry or Reagan is screaming because DJ hit her.
I am also really depressed about my weight. I knew I would have to work on my weight issues, but when I look in the mirror I just see someone who has completely let their self go. I have always had issues with my body and weight. I think high school was the only time I was actually happy with my weight and I was a size 7. I don't want to be rail thin, I just want to be healthy.
I just want this to go away...